Mother's Day and Overreacting

Do you have a favorite holiday? How about a least favorite holiday? I used to have both, but now I'm not so sure. As a potentially predictable answer, I love Christmas. I always have and probably always will, but I can't say that it is my absolute favorite anymore. Motherhood changed that for me. I mean, it's fantastically fun as a parent to come up with Christmas traditions, crafts, and baking but so is it for all the other holidays. I find that as a mom I can't really have a favorite because the kids love them all and their enthusiasm makes me love them too.

For many years my least favorite holiday was Independence Day. Always somewhat an environmentalist at heart, I couldn't stand the polluted air and trash littering the streets after the fireworks celebrations. It just seemed too destructive to be joyful. The last several years though I've seen the magic in my children's faces and it made me forget about the litter. It's funny how that happens.

Now, I find the holiday I struggle with the most is Mother's Day. On one hand, I love being a mother more than anything else in this world. I love the handmade cards Squirt always gives me, the drawings, the constant hugs, and just the reminder that she really does love me even though I'm sometimes the evil-homework (clean room, chores, bedtime, insert action here) monster. Every year Squirt makes me feel like the most amazing mom on Earth and that makes the day so easy to love.

On the other hand, it makes me miss my mom like nothing else. If you've lost a parent I'm sure you understand. While there are other mothers in my life to do things for (a stepmom and a mother-in-law, plus grandmas), reading the sentiments on all the greeting cards puts me into a slight panic as there isn't anyone whom I cherish like a mom and the sentimentality doesn't ever feel appropriate. Have you ever noticed how sappy all the mom cards are? Picking gifts and wishing others a "Happy Mothers Day" is often the hardest task of my entire year. I dread it, and stall, and often send something very vague because I can't quite get past that emotional barrier.

I've never thought of it as a Holiday that affected anyone but mothers and children.

Now, however The Hubs is really surprising me. {He is AMAZING you know.} He asked me the other day what I wanted for Mothers Day and I sort of freaked out in my answer. I'm not used to this. In my previous marriage I didn't get gifts. We might go out to dinner for special occasions but while he would get pricey gifts for every occasion, I was overlooked. In the name of not being high maintenance I didn't let it bother me, though for the first year or two that was a little tricky. When dating, I didn't welcome gifts because they usually implied something about the relationship. Now, he is incredibly thoughtful and gives gifts. I'm finding that I really like it.

He always asks what I'm wanting, but I never know - and this time I overreacted about not needing anything. Truthfully, I don't need anything. And when I told him the kitchen was overcrowded and I didn't want any more kitchen gifts because I'm tired of them falling out of the cupboard when I open the door there was truth in that too. But the reality is that I never thought it would be hard to let someone love me this much. I'm still adjusting to the fact that he wants to do things for me. So really, he could give me a blender and I'd probably be ecstatic. Not because of the blender but because I matter enough to him to go buy one.

So Happy Mother's Day (a few days early)! I hope there is someone in your life to spoil you and I hope there is someone you want to spoil also. To sound like a cliche, it really is the thought that counts.